The LORD has done this...

I haven't blogged in a verrrrrry long time. It has been a crazy 7 months since Silas and Mercy joined our family. We have had peaks and valleys...good days and bad, but God has seen us through. Our children are adjusting well and are turning into little people with personalities. They are running (and climbing) all over the place, and just last night Elly, Silas and Mercy all chased each other around the house giggling while Andy and I sat together on the couch. It was a good feeling.

The last 7 months have been a struggle for me in many ways...Adjusting to the reality of being pregnant was really hard. I questioned God's love for me. I didn't want to be pregnant. It was difficult to care for 3 little ones as I got bigger and bigger. I was on bedrest for two weeks towards the end and unable to care for my kids, and throughout the pregnancy had moody, irritable days when I wasn't a great Christ-like example to my kids. I have felt many times like a fish out of water...inadequate to be the mom to all of these kids. But I have also seen God refining Andy and I through these crazy days.

When I first found out that I was pregnant, all that I could think about was this giant mural that's in the front of Cornerstone Christian Academy. It says, "The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes." Psalm 118:23

This mural came to mind because I knew that the Lord had done this...I had been on the pill, so the likelihood of becoming pregnant was almost zero. BUT I could not say that it was marvelous in my eyes. Andy and I were stepping out in faith by adopting two children instead of one. We knew that we would have to rely on the Lord in a tangible way, so when I found out that I was pregnant it seemed too overwhelming...too much for me to handle.

But then Hudson was born. As a look at his little facial expressions and how intricately and wonderfully he is made, I can truly say, "The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in my eyes." It is incredible that God creates life and forms little bodies that have ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers. To God be the glory for the miracle of creating life.

And God has been good to us. We have wonderful help. I have a husband who is amazing with our kids, which frees me up to care for all of Hudson's needs. God has guarded my mind thus far, so I'm not struggling with postpartum depression issues like I did with Elly. God has given us a little guy who sleeps well and rarely cries. He has tangibly shown His love for me by giving us all that we can handle but not more.

There will certainly be hard days ahead, but I know that God is good and His steadfast love endures forever. His plan for my life and for my family may be different than mine would have been, but He ways are better. I am thankful that He has brought Hudson into our lives and am excited to see the plans that He has for this little unexpected miracle.

*For pictures of our newest addition, see Sue Chamber's blog.